The Will of God: Jesus, Demons, and Family Drama
by The Rev. Rian Adams
“But how do I know the will of God?” The woman was extremely distraught. She had to choose between two equally appealing options and genuinely didn’t know what to do. The church where she grew up drilled a certain theology into her that served as a handicap. That theology goes something like this: If you mess up and miss the will of God, it can ruin your life.
She meant well, the church who taught her to live in fear probably meant well too. Her heart was certainly in the right place, and she simply wanted to please God. But I think the problem, and thus the agent of her suffering, was a misunderstanding of what “God’s will” means.
This Gospel passage from Mark touches on the subject and ties it to a theology and psychology of freedom. Initially this passage appears to be two sections. First we have a section on Jesus and resistance to his ministry of freeing the demon possessed. Second we have a section on Jesus’ mother and brothers and some family drama.
Although they first appear unconnected, I think they are purposefully connected by the Gospel writer. A main theme is freedom and the will of God. As you read it, you will see it.
The Lectionary Gospel, Mark 3:20-35. Proper 5, Year B.
Then Jesus entered a house, and again a crowd gathered, so that he and his disciples were not even able to eat. When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, “He is out of his mind.” And the teachers of the law who came down from Jerusalem said, “He is possessed by Beelzebul! By the prince of demons he is driving out demons.”
So Jesus called them over to him and began to speak to them in parables:“How can Satan drive out Satan? 24 If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. 26 And if Satan opposes himself and is divided, he cannot stand; his end has come. In fact, no one can enter a strong man’s house without first tying him up. Then he can plunder the strong man’s house. Truly I tell you, people can be forgiven all their sins and every slander they utter, but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; they are guilty of an eternal sin.” He said this because they were saying, “He has an impure spirit.”
Then Jesus’ mother and brothers arrived. Standing outside, they sent someone in to call him. A crowd was sitting around him, and they told him, “Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you.” “Who are my mother and my brothers?” he asked. Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.”
Demons and how to understand them
The story begins with opposition to Jesus casting out demons. Obviously debates have raged from the earliest days of the church on how we should understand demons. I think the most important thing is to recognize that demons were forces that controlled people. I think this applies psychospiritually.
Jesus made conscious the things that were controlling others. This is what brought about such criticism from religious leaders. They claimed that he was shining the light on the wrong day.
Apparently there is a wrong time to heal human suffering…
That seems to be an absurd idea but we shouldn’t be too quick to judge. The church has been guilty of this crime too. We have created wounds in the name of rules and righteousness when compassion and love would have healed them.
However, I like to think about demons in a spiritual light. Here Carl Jung proves helpful. He says, “…the psychic conditions which breed demons are as actively at work as ever. The demons have not really disappeared but have merely taken on another form: they have become unconscious psychic forces.”
In Jung’s thinking the demonic is an inside force of negativity and criticism (of self and others). This criticism often takes control of us and consumes us with anger and questions of “what if…”
No matter how we choose to understand demons, Jesus sets people free from them. In my thought Christ makes the unconscious conscious. And that will usually meet religious resistance.
Dementors flee in the Harry Potter books when the light shines from a wand. The same goes for us. When we shine the light and make seen the unconscious in ourselves, our “demons” are then exposed. We are able to overcome them when we make them known.
Family Drama
The second part of the story is about family drama. Who’s not familiar with that? Well, at least it seems like some mother son drama at first.
The story says that Jesus, like so many of us, ran into some family issues when he began shining the light onto the unconscious. It shows that the Holy Family wasn’t perfect either.
This seems to coincide with the above section because both show how people misunderstand the ministry of Jesus. First it’s religious leaders, second, it’s those closest to Jesus – his family.
If James Hillman is correct, the human psyche is “polytheistic.” For Hillman this means that the psyche consists of many different parts. Religion often suppresses certain parts of the psyche (or the soul) in the name of righteousness or goodness. I’ve witnessed this first hand with religious rules and socially accepted standards of behavior.
The family system where we grow up can also suppress pieces of the psyche. I once knew a woman whose father physically beat her and she had a hard time standing up to men. Another story we know all too well of the man who can’t function in life because his mother waited on him hand and foot. Thus, he’s rendered useless in a relationship because women, in his psyche, exist for service and not much more. The list can go on and on… Family has a way of imprinting its values early in life. When we resist the values and standards (especially spiritually) it can cause conflict.
The point is that families often instill handicaps to parts of the self. It’s important to remember that Jesus is not being rude to his mother. On the contrary, he is confronting a family system.
I think resistance in multiple areas of the self is expected when we evolve spiritually. As the German psychiatrist Fritz Kunkel says, “Creation continues. It’s not finished yet because we are still evolving.”
The Will of God
The crux of the lectionary Gospel comes down to the final verse. Jesus said “Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister.”
The message seems clear… those who accept the naming and subsequent healing of unconsciousness are those in the family of God. Said another way, Jesus denounces the tribal family and replaces it with a family of the Spirit.
Jesus fundamentally redefined sabbath and tied it to a spirituality of loving people enough to heal them regardless of religious circumstances. That is the will of God… those in need freedom from whatever binds them. The will of God is not about asking God what grocery store will give us the best deal on steak this week. The will of God is Good News… mercy, love, hope, and compassion. And that Good News isn’t bound by a certain day of the week, or a particular Christian denomination.
My poem Flight is attached below, I hope it can be helpful. Also, if you’d like to read more of my poetry, click here.
Peace,
Rian+
Memorial Day: The Conflicting Feelings of a Combat Officer
By Rian Adams
Another Memorial Day is here…. I find myself conflicted as usual. On one
hand, I’m very thankful to be counted among the living today. It could have easily gone the other way.
I’ll confess that I didn’t sleep last night. I’m well aware of the reason. I remember my friends.
This morning I made espresso and took medicine that prevents me from dying of seizures. Thanks, Afghanistan, eye roll. I don’t want to take this medicine because it often robs me of an appetite. Then my shoulder tells me I was injured. It also tells me that I had 3 CCs of steroid injected a couple of days ago. My back reminds me of a spinal fusion, I take four Advil liquid caps to take the edge off. My ankle says “Hey, remember me, I could use some of that Advil too.” These scars testify to a journey few are expected to make.
Yet through all the physical pain, I have a sense of gratefulness. I’m thankful to be here, I’m thankful to be alive. I’m certainly glad that I can say “I love you” to the ones who are important to me.
I have friends who will never again tell their wives or kids how special they are. Some of their numbers are still saved in my phone because I can’t bring myself to delete them… it would be as if they died all over again.
To those brave men and women who gave up everything, I say this: Thank you for teaching me what love is.
Greater Love
Jesus said, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”
I once sarcastically remarked that the military taught me more about love than the church. I’ve watched friends die for each other in combat, often holding hands in a hospital.
I haven’t watched very many people sacrifice themselves – in the way of Jesus – to save their friends in church. As one professor remarked to me recently, “You mostly watch the wagons circle the institution to protect it.”
That’s probably accurate, but I refuse to accept that answer. Call me arrogant, naive, or a host of other words… I’ve been called worse, trust me. Yet I’m silly enough to believe that if military members can give their lives for others, Christians can too.
In this way, my service as a military officer taught me what we should expect from a church: sacrifice, love, and mercy. Hold my hand when parts of me die!
On the one hand, I’m thankful, on the other I’m frustrated.
Some of my friends, veterans, are quick to be rude and obnoxious when people say “happy Memorial Day.” Instead of absorbing pain they tend, rather, to feel the need be social police. Sure, they make a valid point that Memorial Day is more than a three day weekend. They are also right that “happy Memorial Day” is not correct.
But when I’ve checked my phone today to noticed texts saying “happy Memorial Day,” I’ve just replied, “thank you.” Sometimes it’s important to lay down your own life (and the incessant need to be right about everything) for the sake of saying “Thank you” or “I love you.”
However, there is something deeper at work. My belief is that Memorial Day is about absorbing pain and transforming it into love.
The opportunity that combat veterans have is quite profound. If we are willing to shoulder the weight of being the 1%, then we can live, and then die, with the dignity worthy of our friends who did not come home.
When we choose to love, we understand the true message of military service.
My first Command Sergeant Major in the Army stood next to me at a re-enlistment ceremony (which always took place in the Battalion memorial) and said, “Father Adams, the Army has saved more souls than the church.”
I replied, “I can’t say for sure Sergeant Major, but what I can tell you is that love for the guy in the fox hole next to you is a central message of Jesus.”
I’ve learned, much like the Trojan War, that one does not have to agree with the political reasons for war to love the person who stands next to you.
I’ve written a poem about my feelings. It’s below. And with that, I think it’s time to get rid of some stress in the gym.
To my friends who didn’t make it back: I love you… more every day.
Peace,
R+
Poem: Hand and Cheek
By W. Rian Adams
Hand and Cheek is a poem about communication… well, let’s be honest, it’s really a poem about a girl!! A very pretty girl I call the love of my life. Over the years I’ve learned that love often communicates without the need for words. As we stare into the eyes of someone who loves us, their eyes will tell a story as old as time.
Additionally, love is able to communicate through gentle or erotic touch. You can tell someone you love them and that you deeply desire them through the fingertips. Sometimes all it takes to say “I’m yours” is a gentle hand on a strong cheek.
Herman Hesse was a German poet. The Nazis banned his work and burned his books. He said it this way: “…she thoroughly taught him that one cannot take pleasure without giving pleasure and that every gesture, every caress, every touch, every glance, every last bit of the body has its secret, which brings happiness to the person who knows how to wake it. She taught him that after a celebration of love the lovers should not part without admiring each other… so that neither is bleak or glutted or has the bad feeling of being used or misused.”
